Oh sweet day!!!

Before I completely forget my thoughts tonight, I need to put them somewhere where I won't misplace them. For over a year now, my youngest child started climbing out of the crib, and pack and plays so we placed him in a twin size bed. Only he'd never stay in the bed and go to sleep like happy, good little boys do. He'd come right out of the room, and start playing again, and then I'd pick him up and take him right back to his room, and hope that he'd finally stay put. Some nights I'd even just hold the door closed until he cried so hard that he made himself tired and fell asleep that way.

Yes, I did feel awful, but what else was I to do. Isn't it my job to teach this child how to go to sleep and that it's important to do so in HIS bed?? Well, I didn't have a parenting manual for this child, but with the hind sight looking back I think I could write one, but the only problem would be ... that it might not work for another living soul again. That, of course, would be my luck.

For months I've been going crazy because this little guy wouldn't go to sleep at an early hour, and would be approaching 11 or 12 at night before he'd hunker down and sleep for the night, and I'd usually just leave him where he crashed because I didn't want to wake him up. Do you blame me? I hope not. So I've been thinking that something has to change, there has to be a way to get him to learn to sleep in his bed. Well, something is working now, and I don't quite know what to give credit too!!! But I'm thankful anyway!!!

Now I just need to get back in the productive habit after the kids go to bed. And finish up the kitchen, and fold that last load of laundry before I go to bed. But as it stands tonight, there are a lot of dishes to do, and about 5 loads of laundry to be folded in the morning. I'm pretty happy with myself, for the most part because I've been trying to keep the laundry folded everyday and not have to move it from room to room. But yesterday I didn't fold any loads up, and I didn't fold any up today, but I've washed and dried a few loads. Which means that if I don't fold tomorrow for sure, I'll be swimming in clothes pool again. Something I promised myself a few weeks ago, that I wouldn't do ever again.

But seeing how I haven't been able to "tidy" up the house my way for the last year, it's gone undone most of this time. And just got postponed until the next day. But now I'm hopeful that I can start sending my 2 year old to bed, along with the other kids, and feel like I can be a little extra productive without the whining kids at my feet, or pulling on my legs, or all the other hundreds of demands placed on the mother who tries her all to make them happy and love them all the time without trying to entertain the thoughts of "I'm gonna kill you!!!" after the 10th time of dumping out the trains, or pulling the movies off the shelf, or spilling the juice/milk whatever all over the freshly mopped floor. Or dumping the brand new bag of cereal all over the carpet, and taking lipstick to your white EGYPTIAN cotton sheets that you love with the color RED!! Cause you know that those thoughts and moments certainly do come. For some it happens more then others and for the others, it still happens. If you don't have those moments well either you are PERFECT, or you have PERFECT children or better yet you both are PERFECT. Send us your info on how you do it please.

Just when I felt like I was trying to paddle upstream without any paddles, I've all the sudden found a paddle and think I can now start making some headway in the way I want to be as a "normal" mom.
Although I'm still trying to define what exactly that is... so if anyone has any good ideas on what the "COOL, fun, NORMAL mom" is please share with me your ideas.

You would CRY too if it happened to YOU!!!

Okay seriously,

Can it get any worse? Well, shh but I think it can but we won't go there right now!

Mind you the word sickness and things associated are described in this post. Read at your own risk!! But pick up reading again after the other set of stars, that part isn't bad.

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I've been dealing with sickness in my home for about 2 weeks almost. Everything from Strep to a flu, and random "spewing from the head", to the lingering cough, to headaches, to mommy not getting enough sleep so she wakes up with a killer headache in the morning, and is starting off on a bad note. Sucks to be my family. Oh wait!! Sucks to be me, because I don't like to be this way, sometimes it just happens and the natural tendency is to be "Loud and Mean".

My oldest daughter was feeling fine today, sent her and the second daughter to school today, because they were both feeling fine over the last few days, and now I feel like a "Stupid" mom. The second daughter came home and started acting "sick" again. AGHH!!!! And I just had her at school around all those other kids... ohhhh what is a Mom to do these days!!!/???

She was also running a low grade fever after dinner tonight. BLAH!!!

So I head out for a little much needed break tonight and visited with some women in the ward, while discussing life scenarios, and the possible sewing projects that we'll work on in the near future. It was a great break!!! Thanks Ladies. BUT....

When I got home, little lady, my youngest, had randomly thrown up. Although, I kept her home from school today because she wasn't feeling good this morning. And I had a mess to clean up in the bathroom because apparently she doesn't have great aim. All I have to say is my shower curtain is coming down tomorrow and going straight to the washing machine in HOT water. She's the second one to tag it in a two day period. AGHH!!! (I hate cleaning up BARF!! -- the worst thing besides the smell, and nastiness of it.... I don't even get a bonus for cleaning it up, and I'm fighting off the gag reflex while I do so)

Then when I asked after reading scriptures tonight to have everyone get to bed, my oldest daughter randomly threw up... and she's like 10 and half and completely got it all over the floor in the bathroom area (half of it was carpet, and half was a linoleum type of floor. ** No problemo there, she volunteered to clean up the mess if I showed her what to use. Hallelujah!!

A little while later like within 20 minutes or less she came running back towards the bathroom, and aimed straight for the sink. EW!!!! GROSS!!!! (we left the lights off!!) I immediately started burning a candle because well, I like smelling pretty things like candles!! (* She didn't clean up that mess :( )

I HAD TO!!! BLAH!! BLEEP!!! UGHHH~ !!! HELP!!!! PLEASE!!!

So after an excruciating time of cleaning out our only bathroom sink, and using like a whole container of sanitizing wipes, I finally got it cleaned. YES, it was that BAD!! Or worse!!

Aren't you glad I'm not posting pictures. Lol.

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BEGIN READING AGAIN HERE:

And after dealing with sickness and whining children, and those that don't feel well, and the constant coughing, and the waking during the night, and the keeping them home from school and worrying what the school will say.... I'm getting to a breaking point of wanting to CRY!!!

CRY!!! Sometimes, it is the one single action that can make everything bad seem a little better. I always need a good cry now and then. My husband is okay with as long as I'm not doing it around him. *Which stinks because then no one is around to listen to me, and give me the hug I need and want or the listening ear, or the encouraging phrases to help me get over this bout of Sadness that I happen to be in. I guess it's just one of those emotional traps of being a woman sometimes.

I'm trying to stay upbeat about all this, but sometimes just the weight of the world and other circumstances that we have to deal with on top of everyone being sick (EXCEPT MOM, by the way I'm knocking on wood and crossing my fingers) it sometimes seems to be a bit much for me to handle without getting a little down in the dumps about it.

Oh I know I'm not the only one that this happens to, but at least I'm documenting this moment, because I know in my future that one of my children will read it when they are in a time of need, and it will mean something to them and help them. Yes, I've been praying, reading scriptures and doing all the things I should, but I've reached the limit I think I can handle.

For this reason I sometimes wish my family lived close by so I could go and chat with them, and they won't "push" me away. Because sometimes, even though, I have a lot of children and other people around me, I often feel all alone. And I hate that every time, I pray for a friend to come around for me to really connect with, it always is short term. But at least the friendship will go on. (You know who you are -- there are a few of you).

And the more that I get this out of my system the more I feel I can handle the next day. Because I've made more room to take on the situations that come. Oh my patience, is wearing thin, and the sleep, well I could use more.

This is just one of those "many" times, that is causing me to become slightly frustrated. And a symbol to those who ask me how I do it... well the simple truth is I don't!!! I have bad days, and a lot of them in between the few good ones that come along. And I find this very therapeutic.

Good Mothers are a Rare Gem, Indeed!!! Cherish them Always!!

Okay so I'm a stay at home mom.
I enjoy it most of the time.
Despite all the messes, all the screaming, all the crying.
I really do enjoy it.

I try my best to do the things a "Mom" is supposed to do.
But despite all my efforts it seems that someone else...
doesn't think it's as "hard" as I make it sound.

I've got to devise some kind of plan to get him this person more involved. In all of my "mommy" duties.

I've grown up with the impression that the "chores" and household responsibilities can be divided and equally shared among the "Couple". But in my case, I'm the exception. We break that rule big time.

I'm the one who tends to the kids during the day.
I'm the one who makes them food, if they haven't raided everything before "I'm available" and ready to help.
I'm the one who tries to enforce the chore doing by the children, and helping them with homework, and making sure they read.
I take them to their doctor appointments, the library, and the store(s) they want to frequent.
I schedule or at least think of scheduling play dates.
I attempt to do the laundry and sometime I succeed.
I make the dinner, (sometimes I have help with clearing the table), and then onto the doing of the dishes, if I'm not distracted already with something else.
Then I make sure that I take time and play "rough" with them, and go for walks, and take them to the park, watch them do this neat thing or that other one.
I'm telling them to be nice, and trying to intervene before someone is badly hurt.
I suffer when they are hurt.
I give them kisses on their ouchies and hugs free of charge.
I am asked questions that sometimes make me feel "DUMB" because I don't know the answer.
I try to teach them the Gospel of Jesus Christ and teach them right from wrong.
When they are sick, and mom isn't feeling well either, I still sacrifice for them.
I'm usually the last one that gets to eat any food for dinner.
I help them find their lost belongings, and remind them to put them away next time.
I do try to discipline them, and sometimes I'm successful and other times, well.... we'll just pretend those times NEVER happen.
When the awake during the night... I'm usually the one who takes care of their needs.

Wow!!! Now I'm tired of just thinking of the things that can usually happen during the course of one 24 hour period .... no wonder I'm so TIRED!! and EXHAUSTED !!! and wanting to absolutely nothing at all the next day.... BUT then realities hit (aka 5 little people) and the STUFF starts ALL over AGAIN.

Now I wonder how this other person could handle ALL of this in the course of one day. I'm laughing just thinking about it. So to those husbands who think your wife doesn't do much during the day. Just remember that her most important role is that of a MOTHER!! and that your kids well being should be her first priority. Messes will come and go, and tiredness too!! But your children will be small bur for a moment and then the mother will be sad again, because there isn't another to fill the spot. (This is assuming that you've decided you're done creating the family members and are now just ready to play "House" )

Support these special women, and don't MOCK their Valient efforts!!

To all my friends who are mothers, YOU ROCK!!! You are truly and example to me, and I learn new things all the time.

"Sluggy Buggy I'm out of here"