My Birthday Vlog...

Okay people, I know I wanted to be wild and crazy, but felt I really wasn't capable.

Well I have since learned that I can be, since I've recorded this video earlier.  I'm NUTS!!  I must be!

But it was so much FUN!!   I think my friend Cluttered Brain is starting to rub off on me!! (And by the way Alexes this is just for you!!)  

So sit back and get ready for a belly full of laughs, because I laughed when I went back and watched it. 

I'm Crazy without you....

Dear Computer,

I don't like that you decided to take an unscheduled vacation.  A word of warning would have been great.

So please before you try and do something so bold again, I'd like it in writing that you are needing a break. 

You know I try and turn you off every night to let you have some down time, but if that isn't enough for you, well then you need to speak up.  You've never had a problem before letting me know you didn't like what I was doing, you know the incessant beep after beep.  Yeah, it does get annoying.

But I'm glad I noticed you "left" when you did, so that I could try and get my data saved before it was too late. 

The lesson has been learned, and too bad our relationship ended the way it did. But I think I'll get along greatly with your new replacement "part".   Maybe we can train the new one before it gets too late. 

I've come to really rely on you computer, and when you abuptly leave without warning, it can really rack my nerves and cause me stress that isn't necessary.  I think that you could have found a more tactful way to approach this time and milestone in your life, so please think about this while you are on your vacation.

Signed,  
Crazy without You.

Mounteenas of Laundrias and other such funny stuff..

For all you MOMS out there or WOMEN who do laundry ... Hillary Weeks puts a great spin on Laundry and Music. This was great!!!

Her Laundry Song Parody :




And here's her other one called "The To Do List". Crack me up funny!!!



Just wanted to pass on the fun!!! Enjoy!!

Serving time ....

...in the KITCHEN.

Okay so I'm a HUGE DORK!!!

I just attempted to make brownies. And no, I didn't make them from scratch, so that's why I feel like an even bigger DORK!!! LOL......

Okay so the deal is.... I pulled down the box out of my pantry, and have been craving these delicious brownies for a while. So just now, and I mean JUST NOW, as in less then 2 minutes ago I have just entertained my husband, but he doesn't know it yet.

So you maybe wondering what the heck I'm talking about, well I'm glad I waited to post for today because this is just hilarious. Or maybe you'll think I'm just an IDIOT!!

But, you know how you follow the directions on the back of the box, well I added the 2 eggs, no problem there. I added the 1/2 cup of oil, no problem there. Well, when I went to add the water and started mixing it... I thought the batter was a little RUNNY, and that might just be an understatement!! I looked at the directions, and double checked the eggs, the oil, and then the WATER.

Oh. MY. GOSH!!!! The WATER!!!

I didn't just put 1/4 cup of water into it I added 1 cup on top of that for a total amount of 1 1/4 cups of water. Duh RETARD!!!

So the consistency seems to be that of cake, and maybe even a little bit more runny than that. OH FLIPPER SKINS!!! Well, I thought I could just add that many more boxes to make it right but HELLO that's like adding four more boxes of mix, which I DO HAVE. BUT I only want use them here and there and not to correct a huge mishap on my part. Like hello, go back to school and practice reading again. (Maybe this is more evidence that I need to wear my glasses MORE like ALL the TIME!!!)

I then started thinking what I could add to it so that it would be better, but hello trying to go from a box to a "homemade" version has got to be the hardest thing ever. So maybe I should just go throw some flour and more sugar into the mix, along with a little more oil ... ah heck who am I trying to KID!!?? So I'm going forward with the RUNNY BROWNIE BATTER and hope that the final version still tastes good.

Not to mention my mishap in the bath this morning. I was washing my hair and had just lathered up my head with the shampoo, all the while my brain and thoughts are off on a tangent somewhere in la la land. And then I open up the conditioner bottle and start rubbing it into my hair just as I realized I felt "slimy" hair. OH FLIPPER SKINS!!! I forgot to rinse the shampoo out before I did the conditioner step.

Luckily that was an easy fix, but maybe today is the day I should have just remained in my bed. Reading a book!!!

So I swear, if I ever have this happen again ... I'm going to scream somewhere in the "MOUNTAINS" where no one will hear me, and won't think something bad is happening. But wait, I forget that I'm screaming because it was something bad, but not the kind that makes you ... never mind... I think I'm having bouts of adult A.D.D. setting in. (I need to find that song again, it's FUNNY!!)

Have you seen my car??

Okay so I know that we've all done this.

What -- is what you may be asking to the screen

while you are reading this. Right?

That's what I thought.

But to answer your question ....

it has to do with being in a parking lot ANYWHERE,

And being the one IDIOT person that has forgotten

where you parked your car.

Translation being: YOU LOST YOUR CAR!!!

If you are laughing you know you're guilty of this.

Well, the other day I went shopping, and luckily without my children.

I happened to frequent a certain major retail store, and on my way out

I noticed this older gentleman pushing his basket and looking a little lost.

So I tried to be discreet in my moments of STARING at him trying to

see what his next move would be. Well he stopped walking a few cars down from

where I parked, and he looked around in confusion. Like he couldn't remember where

he left his car.
He lost it!!

So he looks off in a few different directions, and then suddenly looks off to his left as if

he spotted where he lost his car.

Only to find him walking back up towards me a few minutes

later.

Because it took me that long to unload my shopping cart. I was going slow on purpose

because these moments without kids don't last long, and don't happen very often.

It was my breather!!

But back to this guy!!! He comes walking back in my

direction with his shopping cart still full,

and looked even more lost then before.

I didn't stay around to watch the rest of this play out,

but I can only imagine that his next step was to retrace his steps...

to see if he could remember

where he parked the darn thing.

My point: Well, for one most parking lots offer the little numbered

post at the end closest to the

building so that hopefully this can be prevented.

Only how many people ever pay ATTENTION

to those sign posts? I know I don't . Until the next time,

I LOSE MY CAR, and then I notice it after that.

But my biggest tip and pointer on trying to overcome the

"I LOST MY CAR SYNDROME....

if it's a store you frequent just try parking in the same "general location"

everytime. And if you park in the same general location, you'll always use the same

entrance/exit doors (unless they have them closed for some reason and at the point just pray

you don't lose your car). If it's a store you don't go to but once in a while --

seriously find a land mark and make a mental note of it...

so you aren't being someone's entertainment while they are

unloading their cart.

** This in no way says that this incident only happens to older men,

this just happens to be the one I used to tell my story.

Oh yeah, and how can I forget about telling you my favorite signs that some

one has lost their car!!!

When they come out of the store they look as if they

have never seen this sight before.

As they are walking down the isle in the parking lot, you

hear random "car locking" going on, in hopes of them

knowing where they lost their car at. Because of two

things a) they'll see the lights go on and off and b) they'll

hear the horn too. That has got to be my favorite. Not to

mention they all start "REJOICING" "Oh there it is!!"

And of course, when you just happen to be overhearing

people say ... where did we park? I thought we

were over there, and someone else says the opposite

direction.

And when you have a family full of children that seem to run

off in all directions because they think they are right

in where the family car was left, and was promised

a treat to the first person that remembers. (Okay

so I have never heard of this one happening but can't

you just see it happening?)

I find myself often watching people.. and sometimes that is how I

find a way to relax. Knowing there are others out there that

do the same "STUPID" stuff I do. But at least when it's them,

IT'S FUNNY!!!

Remodeling Projects....

So I've decided to get off of my not very active rear end, that seems to have gotten flabbier and flabbier with the growing and carrying and the the births of my five children, and try to do some "remodeling". The remodeling project mainly consists of daily walking. And I'm not talking your slow paced-casual-I'm not in a hurry-and I'm not going anywhere kind of walk. I'm talking about the get your run/walk shoes on, and your getting your arms into the swinging motion, lifting your legs one after the other, focused on one direction and that is what is right in front of you, who cares who sees you on the sidewalk, who cares if it starts to sprinkle (or worse case scenarios, it DUMPS), but your butt muscles are tightening and releasing, you breathe in and out and you get the heart rate up and going, and burn, burn, burn those calories off as you get your metabolism (what is responsible for you burning calories) going. Well it really is good for the heart too. Keeps your heart in good shape -- so I hear, now it's time to "experiment upon the word".

This remodel will cover probably hundreds of miles, and in the meantime, strength training to tone and tighten the other areas of my body, like the droopy, saggy, jiggly arms (COME ON YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THEM TOO, or at one point you did) called the triceps. The group of muscles on the back side of your upper arm, for those that don't know their anatomy or anyone elses for that matter. Especially if all you call it is "the back of my arm". Those seem to be the muscles that are the hardest for me to keep in tact. Well, actually they are in tact, thanks to my epidermis (aka SKIN) layer holding them in place. But despite having five vibrant, healthy trials children, they seem to be the set that gets lost and takes awhile to send the search party out to find out what happened to them. And seem to be the most stubborn in returning back to home base. Darn Triceps - not to be confused with TRYceratops.

Other trouble areas include, my abs (major MOMMY gut going on you know the one that looks like your ETERNALLY EXPECTING A KID, but you aren't. And your kids like to tease you relentlessly that you look like your having a baby, and come up and kiss your belly and say I can't wait to meet you baby. Oh, am I the only one with kids that weird? ) My Glutes (My BUTT, that's what your rear is called as well. At least the muscles hiding under that epidermis layer) And I tend to think of my rear as having "layers" as Shrek says in the movie, that "Ogres are like onions, we all have layers" --- okay so I probably messed that up, because I somehow lost the "script" to the movie in the mess that has been created by last years hurricanes that ran through my house, and seems to hit my piles of papers, and clothes and throws them EVERYWHERE. Sorry I'll really try and find the script so that I can correctly quote that next time. What? I don't have a script you say? Hmmm... You know what I think you might be onto something with that. Matter of fact, You are. I don't have the script. But I am too lazy to go and GOOGLE, (since that's what everyone is now doing with the internet) movie lines from movies. There might be a site, but really I don't care at the moment. You get my point though about the layers, right? My rear is like a layer an onion. But not in the way that you might be thinking. If you've ever had the opportunity of working with onions, you'll notice that most are pretty PLUMP, ROUND, and CHUNKY. But as you peel away the layers, and sometimes it's a lot of "work" because you have to keep dabbing your eyes because of the tears which are caused by PAIN from the onion. Well, so is the rear end. How? Simple.

The rear end can be one or all of the following (and in rare "rear" occasions you might just have the perfect one so this doesn't apply to you) PLUMP, ROUND, and CHUNKY. Well, you have to W.O.R.K those glutes in order to shape up the rear. You call an early end to it's vacation and tell it to get back to work right away. Well, as you work the muscles using weights you tighten and firm, which in essence is peeling away the layers of your butt, from the plumpy, round and chunky version to the now lean, slim and sexy (ier) rear end. It really is quite satisfying to see the hard work pay off.

But I also have a few other "trouble" spots. I mentioned, my Mommy gut, my butt, and just plain kickstarting my metabolism. But I also have a trouble area with my "free throw". So my goal there is to spend hours upon hours practicing the techniques and finally making all the "free throws" I want. Now, I didn't say that I was talking about basketball, did I? Because this could actually mean anything from throwing a baseball, to a football, a frisbe, and maybe a kid or two into a body of water, or a newspaper, or a wad of clothes, because let's face it, I don't get paid to do those things so they are all technically called "free throws" right?

Well, that's about it.... these few areas take a lot of time and effort, and really I can't be distracted while I'm doing this. So I'm putting ont the "I'm going to be Selfish for just an hour or two, so leave me alone" role and hopefully not make my kids or husband too angry and upset in the process. I think it's really important for me to have this time. And I'll talk more about that in the next post.