I need a different place I can go, and just be myself and not care who really is reading this. Sometimes I'm sassy, sarcastic, staunch, rude... have been known to be crude, but really all I want is a place I can call MINE. Because let me tell you it isn't happening in my house at the moment. Even my room has been taken over, by my kids, my clothes, my crap, everything is EVERYWHERE.
Wasn't always like this, I kept the place
My roles consist of (and in no particular order) : Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Niece, Granddaughter, Sister in Law, Daughter in Law, Cook, Laundry doer, Missing shoe finder, disciplinarian, Fixer upper, question answerer, band aid putter-onner (if that's even a real title), dish doer, homework helper, taking care of the crying child in the middle of the nighter, problem solver, fight stopper, bathroom cleaner, photographer (amateur at all levels), and I'm sure there are 100's of others... so there isn't any wonder that I might feel like a failure most of the time, because I don't do all of these very well all of the time. I'm lucky if I can even get a shower every day let alone ... do the dishes, or clean the toilet, sometimes I'm lucky and have dinner ready by 5pm but, homework comes next, right into the "it's time for bed" moment. And it's just so crazy busy that I have no time for ME!!
Well, now I hope to change all that. I'll complain, I'll rejoice, I'll praise, I'll nag... I'll wonder, and then I'll know that I'm still only a daughter of God, and that if I'm important to him, I most definately must be here for a reason... and I shouldn't be so hard on myself. My kids aren't perfect by any means, neither is my husband (even though he thinks it), but most of the time I am. That's right. I said, that most of the time, I am perfect. I am perfect - ly doing the things I can when I can do them. I tend to be hard on myself .. when the dishes don't get done, like they are right now, or when I have 10 loads of laundry that need to be folded and put away, and clothes all over the house that really have no business being here other than they hitched a ride in on a brown box we call "packages from Great Grandma". I try to be dilligent and get the stuff out right away if we don't NEED it, but sometimes, I forget and then I have chaos everywhere.
Aaaghhh when will my house ever look like a home again, without slaving hours upon hours and still feeling like it accomplished absolutely nothing.... SOMEDAY, that wish will come, and then I'll wonder what happened to my kids?? That will probably mean they are all grown up and not running around screaming in their underwear refusing to get dressed because they are perfectly comfortable running around practically naked because it's HOT.
So since I can't win them both I might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride, because sometimes it can be quite funny.