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Friday, April 24, 2009

Where the Heck did my life go???

I really enjoy when a day goes exactly how I have it planned. Know why?? Neither do I!! But it has something to do with low expectations and let come what may. I don't like to stress over the little things, there isn't any point in it.

I used to stress over the small things, and occasionally I still do, but I try not to let it bother me often. Being a mom of 5 kids, I'm kept rather busy, and a lot of times feel like I'm just treading in water rather than swimming towards the other side.

I was talking with my friend tonight and realized that I'm not the only one that has these feelings. I sit back somedays and ask myself, "Is this really my life??" -- where has all the time gone and what am I working towards. I do the same things over and over almost everyday and ... well frankly it starts to get to me. I need to regroup and rethink what's going on.

I've discovered that life isn't what happens, it's what you make happen. I can't just sit back and just let things go on around me, while I'm stuck in neutral and just kind of sitting in "idle". I need to be more proactive in what goes on around me and what I want to do. I need "ME" time, and I really need to have focused daily goals everyday.

It's not just enough to let life happen, but to be actively involved in my life. I don't want to wake up in another 30 years (when I'm 61) and wonder WHERE THE HECK DID MY LIFE GO???
So I'm going to try and enjoy my kids more, but hopefully find a way that I can do that while enforcing good habits in the way of cleanliness, and hygiene, and being polite, and etc...

I sure wish there was a simple parenting handbook that was called something like " Parenting for the unmotivated, and lazy and plain just boring people" Because sometimes that how I feel I come across, but really, I'm not that lazy -- it's all just sleep deprivation, and that makes me tired and when I'm tired do I feel like I want to do anything. HECK NO!! I'd rather rest and relax than make myself exert any energy that's barely left in my resevoir. Maybe that's just how life is when there are so many young kids just out trying to "ENJOY" themselves at the expense of one person. ME!! Mom!!!

Here's to being more proactive in my life !!!