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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You would CRY too if it happened to YOU!!!

Okay seriously,

Can it get any worse? Well, shh but I think it can but we won't go there right now!

Mind you the word sickness and things associated are described in this post. Read at your own risk!! But pick up reading again after the other set of stars, that part isn't bad.

I've been dealing with sickness in my home for about 2 weeks almost. Everything from Strep to a flu, and random "spewing from the head", to the lingering cough, to headaches, to mommy not getting enough sleep so she wakes up with a killer headache in the morning, and is starting off on a bad note. Sucks to be my family. Oh wait!! Sucks to be me, because I don't like to be this way, sometimes it just happens and the natural tendency is to be "Loud and Mean".

My oldest daughter was feeling fine today, sent her and the second daughter to school today, because they were both feeling fine over the last few days, and now I feel like a "Stupid" mom. The second daughter came home and started acting "sick" again. AGHH!!!! And I just had her at school around all those other kids... ohhhh what is a Mom to do these days!!!/???

She was also running a low grade fever after dinner tonight. BLAH!!!

So I head out for a little much needed break tonight and visited with some women in the ward, while discussing life scenarios, and the possible sewing projects that we'll work on in the near future. It was a great break!!! Thanks Ladies. BUT....

When I got home, little lady, my youngest, had randomly thrown up. Although, I kept her home from school today because she wasn't feeling good this morning. And I had a mess to clean up in the bathroom because apparently she doesn't have great aim. All I have to say is my shower curtain is coming down tomorrow and going straight to the washing machine in HOT water. She's the second one to tag it in a two day period. AGHH!!! (I hate cleaning up BARF!! -- the worst thing besides the smell, and nastiness of it.... I don't even get a bonus for cleaning it up, and I'm fighting off the gag reflex while I do so)

Then when I asked after reading scriptures tonight to have everyone get to bed, my oldest daughter randomly threw up... and she's like 10 and half and completely got it all over the floor in the bathroom area (half of it was carpet, and half was a linoleum type of floor. ** No problemo there, she volunteered to clean up the mess if I showed her what to use. Hallelujah!!

A little while later like within 20 minutes or less she came running back towards the bathroom, and aimed straight for the sink. EW!!!! GROSS!!!! (we left the lights off!!) I immediately started burning a candle because well, I like smelling pretty things like candles!! (* She didn't clean up that mess :( )


So after an excruciating time of cleaning out our only bathroom sink, and using like a whole container of sanitizing wipes, I finally got it cleaned. YES, it was that BAD!! Or worse!!

Aren't you glad I'm not posting pictures. Lol.

And after dealing with sickness and whining children, and those that don't feel well, and the constant coughing, and the waking during the night, and the keeping them home from school and worrying what the school will say.... I'm getting to a breaking point of wanting to CRY!!!

CRY!!! Sometimes, it is the one single action that can make everything bad seem a little better. I always need a good cry now and then. My husband is okay with as long as I'm not doing it around him. *Which stinks because then no one is around to listen to me, and give me the hug I need and want or the listening ear, or the encouraging phrases to help me get over this bout of Sadness that I happen to be in. I guess it's just one of those emotional traps of being a woman sometimes.

I'm trying to stay upbeat about all this, but sometimes just the weight of the world and other circumstances that we have to deal with on top of everyone being sick (EXCEPT MOM, by the way I'm knocking on wood and crossing my fingers) it sometimes seems to be a bit much for me to handle without getting a little down in the dumps about it.

Oh I know I'm not the only one that this happens to, but at least I'm documenting this moment, because I know in my future that one of my children will read it when they are in a time of need, and it will mean something to them and help them. Yes, I've been praying, reading scriptures and doing all the things I should, but I've reached the limit I think I can handle.

For this reason I sometimes wish my family lived close by so I could go and chat with them, and they won't "push" me away. Because sometimes, even though, I have a lot of children and other people around me, I often feel all alone. And I hate that every time, I pray for a friend to come around for me to really connect with, it always is short term. But at least the friendship will go on. (You know who you are -- there are a few of you).

And the more that I get this out of my system the more I feel I can handle the next day. Because I've made more room to take on the situations that come. Oh my patience, is wearing thin, and the sleep, well I could use more.

This is just one of those "many" times, that is causing me to become slightly frustrated. And a symbol to those who ask me how I do it... well the simple truth is I don't!!! I have bad days, and a lot of them in between the few good ones that come along. And I find this very therapeutic.