Yes, I did feel awful, but what else was I to do. Isn't it my job to teach this child how to go to sleep and that it's important to do so in HIS bed?? Well, I didn't have a parenting manual for this child, but with the hind sight looking back I think I could write one, but the only problem would be ... that it might not work for another living soul again. That, of course, would be my luck.
For months I've been going crazy because this little guy wouldn't go to sleep at an early hour, and would be approaching 11 or 12 at night before he'd hunker down and sleep for the night, and I'd usually just leave him where he crashed because I didn't want to wake him up. Do you blame me? I hope not. So I've been thinking that something has to change, there has to be a way to get him to learn to sleep in his bed. Well, something is working now, and I don't quite know what to give credit too!!! But I'm thankful anyway!!!
Now I just need to get back in the productive habit after the kids go to bed. And finish up the kitchen, and fold that last load of laundry before I go to bed. But as it stands tonight, there are a lot of dishes to do, and about 5 loads of laundry to be folded in the morning. I'm pretty happy with myself, for the most part because I've been trying to keep the laundry folded everyday and not have to move it from room to room. But yesterday I didn't fold any loads up, and I didn't fold any up today, but I've washed and dried a few loads. Which means that if I don't fold tomorrow for sure, I'll be swimming in clothes pool again. Something I promised myself a few weeks ago, that I wouldn't do ever again.
But seeing how I haven't been able to "tidy" up the house my way for the last year, it's gone undone most of this time. And just got postponed until the next day. But now I'm hopeful that I can start sending my 2 year old to bed, along with the other kids, and feel like I can be a little extra productive without the whining kids at my feet, or pulling on my legs, or all the other hundreds of demands placed on the mother who tries her all to make them happy and love them all the time without trying to entertain the thoughts of "I'm gonna kill you!!!" after the 10th time of dumping out the trains, or pulling the movies off the shelf, or spilling the juice/milk whatever all over the freshly mopped floor. Or dumping the brand new bag of cereal all over the carpet, and taking lipstick to your white EGYPTIAN cotton sheets that you love with the color RED!! Cause you know that those thoughts and moments certainly do come. For some it happens more then others and for the others, it still happens. If you don't have those moments well either you are PERFECT, or you have PERFECT children or better yet you both are PERFECT. Send us your info on how you do it please.
Just when I felt like I was trying to paddle upstream without any paddles, I've all the sudden found a paddle and think I can now start making some headway in the way I want to be as a "normal" mom.
Although I'm still trying to define what exactly that is... so if anyone has any good ideas on what the "COOL, fun, NORMAL mom" is please share with me your ideas.